It's a 'Sarah Palin" Thanksgiving

After pardoning a turkey for Thanksgiving, Governor Palin gave a surreal interview with a local news team yesterday - right in front of a dude slaughtering turkeys.

Amazing. My favorite part is the look on the guy's face as he realizes "Wow, you're really going to do this." Then gets back to work because it's Alaska, and it's crazy cold out.

Just thought that was some good Thanksgiving humor for you.

However......in the words of Kalaya and illustrated by Justice and Alex----
(after a fist bump)

Peace Up! A-town down!

In T-minus 30 mins I'll be blowing this cubical popsicle stand and heading to the great wide yonder. (a.k.a Alabama)

Remember to love the ones you have, thank the Lord for his blessings, and pray for those who can't be with us this holiday season.

God's grace pours on us from every direction. We remember to be thankful at Thanksgiving but we just forget to be thankful for the "little things" sometimes.

Look at the colors in the leaves this fall- look at the way your childs smile wrinkles that little nose juuuuust right-look at how you can go all day long, working, cleaning, taking care of the kids, running errands- and the whole time God is holding you in his hands and refreshes you every night.

God's gifts to us are magnificent and wonderous!

How can I not be filled with joy every morning when I wake up and I know that I and my daughter are in God's family!?

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

P.S: Just as an FYI- Sarah was no where to be seen near our neigborhood turkeys. Live another day my feathered friends.

M- I- C- K- E- Y--- Y Are You Eating Me!!!???

Grana's holding Kalaya in the back pew of the sanctuary during a funeral.
Grana: Kalaya, you have to be quiet. No talking ok? Be very quiet. No talking or playing- we're in church. shhhhh.
Kalaya: (looking very seriously at Grana) Well can I at least cough?

Grandaddy: (talking to Nana) Hey I've got to talk to you about something.
Nana: Ok- come in here and let's sit down.
(they move to the kitchen table to sit down)
Kalaya: Whatcha doing?
Nana: We're talking about something very important.
Kalaya: Don't you important me!

Kalaya: Nana, let's talk.
Nana: Ok, what do you want to talk about?
Kalaya: Ummmmm....let's talk about pancakes!

Me: Kalaya, what do you want to eat for supper tonight?
Kalaya: Mickey Mouse pancakes.

Me: You wanna sing a song? What song do you want to sing?
Kalaya: Mickey Mouse pancakes.

Me: If you go potty you can get a suprise. What do you want when you go potty?
Kalaya: Mickey Mouse pancakes.

As you can tell- she has a sliiiiiiiight obession with Mickey Mouse pancakes. And heaven forbid you eat Mickey's pancake ears and not Kalaya. Just ask Grana. It doesn't end well for you or the mouse.

Giving Sally Fields A Run For Her Money

-----Or- The Many Faces of Kalaya-----

I'm about to come at you like a spider monkey:

Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?!: This baby is filth! Take this rubbish away and bring me a new baby that isn't as subpar as this poor pitiful excuse of one! At once!:
Oh yeah that's right girl- I saw you lookin at my man:
I'm going to pout till I get what I want- and I always get what I want:
Can you be a pal and see if I've got something in my teeth?:
My play-doh doesn't want to play with me anymore!!:
Say whaaaa? Oh honey- no you didn'!:

You Can Say That Again Marie!

Also- on a side note- those are pimp outfits you two are wearing. I was considering that exact same haircut and dental work but didn't want to look like Jan from Grease.

Anywho- back to Marie/Donny's song (since they are basically one in the same)- so yeah, you could say that I'm a little bit country. Matter of fact I would be more prone to say that I'm alot country. I love going to Alabama and seeing my family. I, with most everyone else in the family, have a plan percolating that will get me moved out there in the next few years or so.

It's gorgeous out there and I couldn't be happier anywhere else then with my family on our land. Our land is by a national park on the Little River Canyon and it proves to be a great place to take some outdoor photos.

The Mill Hole ( Mauldin's Mill Hole)- where we go swimming

Submitted For Your Consideration

Whose head do you think hurts more?

Kalaya's- after walking determinedly into the door frame and hitting the door latch? ( I have no clue why she walked straight into it? I can only assume she had her eyes closed and was "hiding" from me as she walked away)

OR

Diesel's- after a tragic fall onto the footboard of the bed that quite possible caused either brain damage or internal decapitation? (sorry the video is sideways- now I know not to video things vertically anymore- doesn't compute well on bloggers)

Listen at the end. Did you hear it? Did you hear his head bounce on the footboard? Gross.

Speaking of Diesel- I'm sure some of you out there have been thinking- " What's been goin' on with that lil scamp lately?"

Well, let's just say, a fall off of the sofa led to the untimely end of his career as a bat/Batman impersonator.

I give you-- Before:

And After:

The once proud, twin beacons of audio amplication are now diminshed and defeated. No more shall the twain meet in the air above this poor puppies head. His career is over. SixFlags is sooo going to cancel his Gotham City seasonal contract.

I'm Back Like a Vertebrae

After some wheeling and dealing with my eBay friends in Hong Kong- I have managed to acquire a new USB cord for my camera. (On a side note- I had the other one the whole time and didn't realize it fell through a hole in the pocket of my purse and was stealthily lying between the liner and the leather of the purse- mocking me I assume.)

No worries though. Now I know for sure I'll always have a backup in case I lose it again. Now if only the USB cord could talk some sense into my cellphone that selfishly commited suicide in my toliet last night. Then we might be getting somewhere.

Speaking of toliets... ( What a way to lead into today's post huh? I'm as smooth as Sade's operator people and don't you forget it.)

Kalaya is still doing great at going to the potty. Lucky for us, she's not the type of kid who potties at home and refuses to go when we are out somewhere. You show the girl a potty and she's got that situation covered.

I try to make it as interesting as I can for her short of:

A. Letting her pee on a tree like "Zach at school does"

B. Try to potty while standing with on foot on each side of the seat, or

C. Attempt to potty on her seat while precariously holding Diesel over the "big" potty by often only one paw and/or ear.

Our entertainment is usually simply a book to read or mommy singing the "pee-pee" song that I most assuredly will regret making up one day.

We also get to put a sticker on our chart everytime we go potty. Yes I know it's not the most exciting reward ever but- come on! The kid gets balloons every Friday for going potty through the week and this past Sunday Mom, Lindsey, and I took Kalaya and Alex to Build a Bear to get their own bears for being big boys and girls and going potty.

Meet Kisses:She's the most expensive stuffed bear you have ever seen- trust me. But they had a blast and so did the adults. So it was all worth it.

Of course, there are still accidents and that's to be expected. Matter of fact, Alex dropped off a load at the Build a Bear store itself. Fitting huh? Kalaya took notice and handled it herself.

Kalaya: Alex- you stink.

Alex: I'm sorry. Alex poop.

Simple and too the point don't you think?

So here's to those bygone days of diapers and pull-ups! Who needs ya!? We've got better things to do with ya.( She's cutting her eyes at me because I'm awesome- not because I'm a huge embarrasment. Trust me.)

Everybody's Workin for the Weekend

Now do you have that song stuck in your head? Yeah me too. I have this whole 80's montage floating in my cubicle now. I see lots of lace, bracelets, leotards, hairspray, extreme makeup choices, and Jordache jeans. Then my random train of thought wanders through the magic that is Fame, Footloose, and The Breakfast Club. And sadly I end up on Jessie Spano from Saved By The Bell singing " I'm soo excited! I'm sooo excited! I'm sooo-----scared" because she was geeked up on caffiene pills.

The scary part is that she's wearing all of the things I previously listed except for the lace. I'm assuming the leotards are underneath the jeans. (Yes I know that show was in the 90's-but let's be honest- she's one moment away from pulling on her Members Only jacket, getting out there on the dance floor with any one of the Coreys ( Haim, Feldman, and Hart), and dancing the night away to Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Khameleon.

Man- speaking of a caffeine overdose-- I've obviously had alot today haven't I?

So 'Come on Eileen'- make sure you enjoy your weekend and 'Rock the Casbah' with 'Jack & Diane' as much as you can. Because baby, it's soon to be another 'Manic Monday' and we all know your boss is a 'Maneater'.

Happy Thanksgiv-----Oh Who Cares?---- MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ok I couldn't help myself. I tried. Really I did. I even thought about asking for an intervention. But I just couldn't do it anymore. It called for me. I couldn't wait any longer to start decorating my lil world with Christmas decorations. I blame the radio station I listen to everyday at work--- so aptly named White Christmas Radio.

Darn you Rudolph and all your cheery claymation friends. Darn you Perry Como and Dean Martin. Don't you know that a person just might want to celebrate pilgrims and corn just for once and not listen to your sultry and soothing music that tends to make me all warm and fuzzy inside and induce hallucenations of wee lil elves and snowmen coming to my house to wrap all my presents using only two pieces of tape. And then 8 tiny reindeer come bearing gifts of yard tools and start cleaning my yard up with the utmost precision all while I nestle warm and cuddly in my blanket that was hand-woven by Mrs. Claus herself out of snowflakes and poinsettas as she bakes me cookies by the roaring fire. And....woah wait...( shakes head)...where was I?

Oh yeah.

And as for you B98.5 and the ABC Family channel--- how dare you enable me before my pumpkins have even rotted or my child has ingested 67grams of straight sugar from her Halloween candy with your holiday songs and 25 Days of Christmas movie marathon.

Each year I try really hard to contain myself starting around November 1st. I recognize that Thanksgiving is a holiday too but lets be honest... it's like the red headed stepchild of the holiday season. ( No offense Lissa- I think redhots are spicy hot) But it usually gets bypassed on the holiday highway of life.

Thanksgiving is like that scary exit on the interstate that you don't want to stop at because your mother warned you what happens at 'those' reststops and you've recently watched too many episodes of Unsolved Mysteries lately.

I usually can make it till at least Thanksgiving weekend before I start decorating but this year I'm getting jumpier then a frog on a june bug.

So in closing- Eat It Thanksgiving!

Your hotter cousin Christmas is coming to town and he knows how to show a girl a good time. They'll be stockings hung by the chimney with care and lights on the tree before you can say "Plymouth rock who? Buckle shoes what? Bring on the eggnog playa and let's get the tinsel out of your hair! We've got some decorating to do!"

I'll Be Here in the Catskills All Weekend Ladies And Gentlemen-Don't Forget To Tip Your Waiter

Conversation on the way to Wal-mart yesterday to get groceries:
Kalaya: Look mama! Store! Let's go to the store and get milk!
Me: Ok baby, that's exactly where we were going.
Kalaya: Yee-haw!
Me: (laughing) That's right baby! Yee-haw cowgirl!
Kalaya: Yee-haw cowmama!

Conversation this morning, while I'm still in bed and she's kicking the wall between mine and her room through her crib to wake me up:
Kalaya: Maaaaaammmaaaa! Mama! Come get your baby. Your baby is sleeping. Mama! Maaaammmaaa Saaarrrraa. Sara. Come get your baby. You remember where she is? I'm right here Mama.
Me: I'm coming Kalaya.
Kalaya: Right now?
Me: Yes baby I'm coming.
Kalaya: Remember where I'm at? I'm where you left me last night.
Me: I didn't just leave you there silly.
Kalaya: Are you sure?
Me:I'm pretty sure baby. I wouldn't leave you anywhere.
Kalaya: (paused to think) Well... I'm still here.

Conversation at Nana's the other weekend:
Me: (sitting at the dinner table trying to eat) Excuse me-- I've got the hiccups.
Kalaya: You've got the pickups?

Tim Gunn It!

i.e.- Make it work!

If you haven't noticed- I'm having to revert back to old photos and stories lately because I'm the idiot that lost the USB cord to my camera somewhere between work, home, and Alabama. So basically, I'm ebaying it as we speak and ordering a new one. New photos and stories will resume as promptly as the USPS can deliver- Which stinks because I had some awesome new pictures to share with you. Well at least this will be a tittilizing post of posts to come- just to wet your tastebuds.

Stay tuned for those.

So when I don't have a particular topic I want to blog about on any given day- I'm prone to look through my pictures on my computer to see if I can get any inspiration from them for a new post.

I honestly don't know what you want to call this one other then "Hair: A Psychadelic Experiment":

It's neat because it's different but it is NOT my child. It's career ending. Like when Baby from Dirty Dancing got a nose job. Where is she now? Exactly my point.

Green Thumb

I'm about to go home and cut my grass for, hopefully, the last time this year. I really enjoyed working in our yard this year and, if I say so myself, Kalaya and I did a pretty good job with our garden. We grew sunflowers, hibiscus, pumpkins, tomatoes, salvia, day lilies, roses, zinnia, marigolds, sweet williams, elephant ears, hostia, amarillis, begonias, lambs ear, spider lilies, black dahlia, strawberries, and an assortment of other wildflowers. In honor of a summer gone by, I thought I'd post some pictures of our accomplishments. Enjoy!

The garden- salvia, marigolds, wildflowers, sweet williams, hibiscus, sunflowers, and pumpkins:

Behind the house-Sunflowers (got up to 11 feet tall):

Black Dahlia:

Spider llies:

Pumpkins- we had about 7 this year:Amarillis, begonias, hostia, and others:

Begonias:Rose bush:Amarillis: Sunflowers:Sunflowers:

God's works are beautiful aren't they?!

In Russia You Don't Play With Your Play-doh----Your Play-doh Plays With You!!

Looks like I should follow the old saying and 'open mouth- insert foot' right now. Guess who proved me wrong and went potty last night for me- for the very first time?! That's right- Miss Kalaya. Of course, we immediately got in the car and went to get balloons- like I promised her she could have if she went potty.

We talked about it the whole way there-- how she was a big girl and big girls get balloons for going potty. We talked about what colors and what styles we wanted and how we were going to let them fly up high to the ceiling of the house

(Which coincidentally, if you didn't know, is only 6 feet 8 inches from the floor in my house. (Or 6 feet 5 inches depending on what part of the sloping hallway your standing at the time) So basically, when I wear heels, my ceiling is only 5 inches above my head. Needless to say- we don't play "throw the baby in the air", stretch our arms while yawning, or jump with any ethusiasm very often in my house.)

We pulled into Wal-mart just giddy with excitement about getting our 'Potty Party' balloons- walked in the store, over to the greeting card section, and promptly noticed that the only available balloons were "It's a Boy" ones or a half deflated Elmo that quite honestly looked like it had seen better times.

Thanks Wal-mart-- thanks alot. You've always been a pal to me-- pulling for me in the hard times. I can't begin to tell you how great it was explaining to my 2yr old that those 'Potty Party' balloons we've talked about for days don't actually exist and mommy is simply a compulsive liar bent on destroying every childs fragile dreams. (This is your head start Santa, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy. You better get your magical booties in gear and head back to the sugar coated lands you came from. I'm on a mission!)

Thankfully- (and I can't believe I'm saying this)-- can someone hold my hand when I say this? I'm scared-- hold me tighter.

Ok-------deep breath------

Thankfully -I got her focus off of the Loch Ness balloons (as I have so called them for their mysterious and sometimes questionable existence) to the ever beckoning PLAY-DOH AISLE!!!! As you all remember, Play-doh and the act of playing with Play-doh is NOT taken lightly in our household. Our Play-doh comes with a dictator like agenda listing the times, places, and exact motions you can carry out with said Play-doh--- all established by Commadant Kalaya. Failure to communicate your intentions ahead of time can lead to extremely disturbing results.

You know how the Play-doh containers say " Fun to play with- not to eat"? Yeah well, ours should say "Fun to play with- when we tell you it's fun to play with" Somehow we find the only container of communistic Play-doh everytime we buy some.

Aside from the berating and domineering play tactics that were endured-- I really enjoyed playing with Kalaya and her new Play-doh.

Next time we're going to find balloons if it kills me- before the Play-doh does.

CONGRATS TO KALAYA FOR GOING POTTY!

Giving It The Old College Try

Well, it's on! This week is potty training week for Kalaya. We started a few months ago and things went sort of ok for a week or two but quickly went backwards from there. Her babysitter had two new babies for awhile and I think Kalaya felt a little sad about not being the baby anymore. So using the big-girl potty just stopped. After trying everything you can think of to convience her to use the potty- we decided it was just time to take a step back and give her a break.

Flash forward a month or two and here we are! Trying to get it down pat again. She's a smart girl. She knows what the potty is for. She's not scared of it. Matter of fact, it's a quite interesting event for her when someone goes potty. She knows that big girls go in there and she even will let you know that she went potty---immediately after she went in her pull-up or panties. (slight delayed reaction there it would seem- I blame the curls-- blocking brain waves). Even Diesel and Minnie get in on the act (which ends waaaaaay worse for Diesel then Minnie. Can you say puppy swirly?)

Matter of fact, the other day Kalaya and I pulled in the driveway after getting off work and from school and like everyday when we get home, she has to go to "her" tree in our yard that is located near the driveway. When I say her tree- I mean she has an insane obsession with this tree. I'm not sure if I need to get her more friends or less sugar. Anyways, she immediately went over to her tree while I walked around in the yard checking our flowers and doing some weeding. We were probably out there for abut 10 minutes or so when Kalaya starts running towards me with this wide-eyed look, calling out "mommy! mommy!". She got about halfway to me and yelled " I have to go po-------" but stopped in mid run and sentence-looked down at her pants and informed me "It's ok- I don't have to go potty anymore". Needless to say, her potty timing is clicking along more like a New York street Folex then a Bulgari timepiece.

We'll get it eventually. If she goes to the potty this week we are going to go get balloons. That's what she picked. I can't wait. If she goes to the potty for a week I'm going to take her to ride a pony. She loves riding anything- this can include:

1.) Ponies

2.) Baby Justice - I was informed of this in the car one evening. The conversation goes as so:

Kalaya: I'm big.

Me: Yes you are. And Justice is small.

Kalaya: I'm going to ride him.

Me: I think we'll have to ask Bubba and Lolly about that.

3.) fourwheelers/motorcycles- another one of her obsessions:

4.)cows or anything else that will stand still long enough for her to get on it:

Wish us luck! We'll need it!

On the Campaign Trail

We're starting our campaign for 2048.

Justice Wayne Maynard for PresidentRock the Vote!
* Sorry for no posts lately. Things got busy- but we'll be back to our regularly scheduled program tomorrow.